Trailing Spouse Tales

The Time Between Packout and Post..

As if the packout wasn’t tiring enough, I spent the following week on the go with a jam packed schedule..

First stop, Savannah,Georgia. Savannah has been on my bucket list for quite some time and it lived up to and even exceeded my expectations. The drive was not bad- around 6 hours or so. The city was quaint, charming, and full of cute restaurants and shops. I couldn’t go to the south and NOT have shrimp and grits, so that was my dinner.

It was everything I could have hoped for and wish I could have stayed there for a few more days at least! I hope to go back during home leave to spend more time in this charming city!!

From Savannah I drove about 10 hours to D.C. It was a loooong day and wish I could have planned better to break it into two days, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

I had one day to run some errands in D.C., then my husband and I went to up north for his brother’s wedding. It was a quick 48 hours and about 4.5-5 hours drive each way, but hey, at least I didn’t have to drive!!

My husband had two more days of training before we left, so I ran errands and checked things off my list of to-dos. Then, we were off for 24 hours in Paris!!

We ended up with three checked bags each in addition to our carryons. The red eye flight was uneventful. I attempted to sleep during some of the flight, but alas I did not get more than an hour of sleep. I think I was too excited for our day in the city of lights…

I traveled to Paris about 10.5 years ago with one of my best friends, and it was just as great coming back this time with my love. We were tired and jet lagged, but we did a lot of walking and eating in those 24 hours that we were there!! We had crepes, croissants, soufflés, sandwiches on baguettes, escargot, and great wine. What more can you ask for?

We needed that extra day to decompress and somewhat adjust to jet lag, and of course Paris is such a beautiful and wonderful city to be in, so why not?? Paris is another city I definitely hope to travel to again- for more than 24 hours next time!!!

The Packout

Hi All! Now that I have a minute to collect my thoughts, I took some time to tell about the move overseas.

These past few weeks have been a complete blur for me. It all started about three weeks ago with the packout. Two days of backbreaking work, sweat, running around, and answering all the questions from the movers. We had professional movers move everything for us and a person came to clean our apartment after, but it was still two very long and exhausting days.

Day 1:

I ran to Dunkin Donuts to get food and coffee for myself and the movers. Two movers came to move our UAB and HHE, which for those who aren’t in the know of foreign service acronyms are Unaccompanied Air Baggage and Household Effects. We were allotted 450 lbs for the two of us, and arrives by air much quicker than HHE, which goes by the literal slow boat.

We had an area blocked off for UAB with stuff we wanted sooner – towels, pillows, clothes, some household goods, etc. Somehow we filled our 3 allotted boxes that the movers had for UAB but were still underweight by 80 lbs!!! I was pretty annoyed because I could have found 80 lbs worth of stuff to send if the movers would have had another box that we could have filled. I will have to plan better next time and put some heavy smaller items in UAB!

Word of advice- bring the towels, pillows, and hangers with you in your checked luggage if you can if you are going to post. Or mail them to post before you leave so they will be there when you arrive. Same with pans, cups and plates. Trust me on this.

From reading other foreign service blogs, I thought there would be at least 3 or 4 movers, but there were only 2, and they worked tirelessly with hardly any breaks from 9:30 – 4:30. I watched them carefully pack everything we were taking to post. We were also underweight in HHE by about 1,000 lbs!! This makes me feel better because it gives us a little leeway to buy some stuff in Kyiv. A chunk of that amount was also household consumables, so that will not be included in our next HHE.

I swept and cleaned as stuff was packed up, even though we had a cleaner come. There was an embarrassing amount of dust and debris and some items I thought I lost!! (Hello, earrings and necklace).

After day 1 I of course decompressed with a tasty beverage

Day 2:

Day 2 started out the same. This time there were 4 movers and it went much quicker. They started around 10 and were done by 2:30. It was bittersweet looking at stuff that will be in storage for (we believe) 18.5 years!! By then we probably won’t want any of the stuff, but hey, we’re keeping it anyways. Among the items in our HHE was furniture and precious momentos, as well as some camping equipment and bicycles.

After the movers left I raced to the cable company to return our cable boxes and came back in time for our house cleaner, who did a phenomenal job of making our apartment sparkling clean. I then checked in to my hotel later that evening and crashed hard after taking a well deserved soak in the tub in the hotel room.

It was mentally draining, answering questions about what stuff went where, keeping an eye on the movers to make sure they pack our stuff nicely (at one point a mover started to wrap a Kleenex box with about 2 tissues in it for storage. I literally had to remove it from his hands and say “that’s staying here, no need to pack this!”). It was physically exhausting cleaning out the fridge and pantry and sweeping up after the movers and scrubbing the walls and baseboards with Mr. Clean magic erasers. It was emotionally draining looking at items that I hope are shipped safely or that I won’t see again for a long time.

Even with all the emotions and physical drain of the packout, I have to say it went well with only a few hiccups, which is the best that anybody can hope for.

6 More Weeks…

It’s hard to believe that the past 3 months have gone by so fast. What have I been up to?

Here it is in numbers:

67-Current streak on Duolingo (i.e., days in a row of learning Ukrainian)

38-# of years around the sun

3-# of flights to D.C. to see my husband

2-# of times my husband has been able to come to Florida to see me:)

2-# of meltdowns I have had (my poor husband)

Countless-

#of online orders for clothing, household goods, etc. to prepare to move overseas

# of trips to the clothing drop offs in the area to drop off bags of clothes

We are entering the home stretch of our time in the United States (well, for now), so we have both been busy with the logistics of preparing for an overseas move. Diplomatic passports, visas, flight arrangements, international drivers permits, and pack out have all been scheduled and/or completed. I have been busy purging many items from our house that do not bring me joy (thanks Marie Kondo!) and working away at my job.

We had wonderful visits in February and March for Valentines Day and my birthday, exploring D.C. and it’s excellent culinary scene. I was able to see an old friend that lives in Arlington, and my husband and I were able to meet up with some of his old friends that he met 20+ years ago in South America.

It has been a good thing that I have been to D.C. so many times, because I have been able to test out jackets of varying weight for the winter temps. I have been craving winter temps ever since we moved to Florida (call me crazy, I know), so I was ecstatic to feel cold weather again. My husband also has been reacquainted with living in a colder climate after living in Florida for 3 years.

More travel has already been scheduled between now and when we leave for the Ukraine- I am going up to D.C. again to see the cherry blossoms, have a mini reunion with some of my hubby’s friends, and to get set up with our new bank. My hubby is coming down to Florida to do some final purging of his stuff, final doctor visits, and getting his vehicle ready to ship overseas. Also, we are going up north to see his brother get married before we leave!!

It is a huge transition for me- I will be unemployed, leaving a career I have had for over 15 years, living in another country- that I do not speak the language of fluently, by the way- and my husband and I are going to have to be on the same page using one budget and living off of one paycheck for the first time in our married lives. The anticipation of this got to me, so being human and all, I had a couple of meltdowns. Both during visits to see my husband in D.C. My poor husband- he deserves so much credit for putting up with me, a demanding training schedule, and organizing the logistics of the move. I acknowledge he is under so much stress too. But we are working through it and excited to be FINALLY settled in Ukraine soon.

I know I will miss many things about living in the United States, but I am sooo ready to be living full time with my hubby again. FaceTime really has been so good for our relationship, but it is no substitute for being with my hubby in person. There is so much to look forward to and we can’t wait for our adventure to begin in 6 weeks!!!

P.S.- here are a couple of pictures from the famous Georgetown Cupcakes we visited during my birthday weekend.

Flag Day

It’s taken a few days for it to sink in, because it doesn’t really feel “real” yet, so here’s how my trip to DC went and how we found out where we are going in May:

I flew into D.C. on Saturday morning. My hubby met me at the airport and it was sooo good seeing him after being apart for two weeks. We had brunch, ran some errands, and relaxed a little at his apartment until mid-afternoon when we left for an informal friends and family gathering of some of his A100 classmates. All in all, it was a fun afternoon sharing in the same nervousness and excitement of some of the other spouses, and getting to know his warm and welcoming classmates. Afterwards my hubby and I went to see the Zoo Lights at the Smithsonian Zoo.

Sunday and Monday went by in a blur- we watched some football on Sunday, and Monday my husband’s mom, dad, brother, and brother’s fiancée came to town so we all went to dinner together.

Tuesday I purposely tried to stay as busy as possible to keep my mind off of Flag Day. I worked out, ran errands, and got my hair done. My in-laws came to pick me up to go to the ceremony. We got there super early, which gave me enough time to let the nerves get the best of me. Finally, the ceremony started.

Speeches were short and sweet because everyone wanted to know where they were going already! There was one country we were pretty sure we were going to get, and quite honestly I was shocked when my husband’s name was not called. Finally, around a third of the way through, my husband’s name was called- folks, we are going to Kyiv, Ukraine!!

After the ceremony there was a little reception, and then we went to a Russian restaurant with Ukrainian food- in fact, our server was from Kyiv! Needless to say, I am so happy and relieved that we are going to Kyiv!! It was high on our bid list. The city has good public transportation, I get a break from hot and humid weather (yesssss!!), and there are plenty of wonderful travel opportunities only a short flight away.

Now that I know where we are going, I have been busy getting cold weather clothing and beginning to take online lessons in Ukrainian. I am determined to know as much of the language as possible by the time we move there!

Bid List

Tuesday, on his second day of A100, my husband received the official bid list. The amount of countries on the bid list for IMS was 1 country for each IMS candidate in his A100 class. Surprisingly, there were countries on the list that I had been reading about recently on various Foreign Service blogs. He told me Tuesday evening that he needed to turn the bid list in with his rankings high to low on Thursday, so I spent an hour or two researching posts before I called it a night.

After spending the majority of Wednesday researching pretty much every post on Tales From Post and other blogs, I responded with my list in order from top to bottom ranking.

Later that night we FaceTimed and talked through the pros and cons of each post, and even looked at YouTube videos together of a good amount of cities to get an idea of the downtown areas, streets, and basic vibe (done by real, everyday people, not a visitor’s center). In the end, after almost 2 and a half hours of negotiation, we ranked each city from top to bottom.

We both feel good about our rankings, and now fingers crossed we get a post that is at the top of the list!!

A side note, the week has gone by pretty quickly, and I am not as sad/blue as I was on Sunday. FaceTime and being generally busy at work helps!! Also, I am amazed at how the house is strangely still clean and I spend not even a fraction of the time picking up stuff/tidying up in the morning as I usually do with my husband away:)

A100 Starts..

Well, my husband left this morning for DC. A100 starts tomorrow, and he has to check into his temporary apartment, attend a happy hour with his training class tonight, and somewhat settle in before he starts his new job as an IMS bright and early tomorrow! Training should last 22 weeks, according to his paperwork, which means that we will be leaving for post in April (I think..)

In other news, these past few weeks have been busy for my husband with travel, seeing friends, shopping for last minute items for A100 training, getting the official offer of employment and travel orders, sorting out housing in D.C., and saying goodbye to his wonderful coworkers he’s had over the past 3 years.

On my bucket list for Florida was to see Naples and St. Augustine, so we took a quick day trip to Naples and also went to St. Augustine for my husband’s birthday earlier this month. We took a trip to California last weekend to see my brother, grandma, my dear college friend, and my husband’s cousin and his family. This weekend, we saw his best friend and his wife, and we celebrated Thanksgiving with some good friends here in Florida.

It is bittersweet to have training start right after Thanksgiving, as I had thoughts of “this is going to be my last Thanksgiving in the U.S. for a very long time.” It must be the full moon right now, but I am very emotional about “lasts” of things in America and having to live here in Florida while my husband is in D.C.

Little things, like doing laundry yesterday and opening my husband’s sock drawer to find it empty have brought tears. And goodness, when we drove to the airport this morning I was a mess.

Being apart from my husband for 4-5 months is going to be rough, but I seek solace in the fact that, in addition to Face Time, I will see him in 2 weeks for flag day, then about a week and a half later for Christmas. In January, my mom and brother will visit for about a week, which should keep me busy. My husband still has to sell his car and motorcycle, and tie up some loose ends, so he will be making a couple of quick weekend trips here before we leave for post.

Well, that’s about it for now. I will post again later this week when we receive the bid list- I am very excited to see what cities and countries will be in it!!

The Journey Begins

Welcome to my blog!! For those of you who are not familiar with the term “Trailing Spouse,” it refers to a person who follows their spouse (or significant other) for a job opportunity. In my case, I will be following my husband for the adventure of a lifetime – traveling the world together!!

We found out this month that he was offered the position of an Information Management Specialist with the State Department. At this time, we do not know where we are headed – we will find out in December. All I can say is that this process has been loooong (over 2 years since he applied!!). My husband has lived in quite a few countries, so he is familiar with expat life abroad. I, on the other hand, have lived in the U.S. my entire life so this is brand new to me. To prepare myself, I have been reading blogs of other trailing spouses and Foreign Service Officers to get an idea of what life might be like living abroad. Those blogs have been tremendously helpful and have eased my anxiety (somewhat) of living the life of a trailing spouse. This is the reason I started this blog – to share my experiences as a trailing spouse living abroad (in addition to giving friends and family updates on our lives of course).

Some of the challenges of being a Trailing Spouse are moving every 2-3 years (check, for all of my adult life this has been the norm), not knowing where you are headed to next (check, I have not planned a move more than 6 months in advance, so this is the norm), and living in a country where you most likely do not speak the language or know the social norms/culture (ummm well does South Florida count? j/k ).

Of course nothing can truly prepare you for life as an expat trailing spouse, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that my experiences thus far in my 37 years of life have given me an idea of what life is like living abroad. My dad is from South America, I grew up and have lived in areas with a fairly diverse population, I have traveled to Europe, South America, the Caribbean, and Central America. I have lived in dry and mild climates (California), hot and humid climates (South Florida), as well as climates with four seasons (Boston). South Florida in particular has prepared me as most of the population is from another country, so it is common to hear Spanish, French, and Russian in my local grocery store and apartment building. My husband’s family also lived abroad in a similar situation moving every 2-3 years for 20+ years, so I have been soaking up advice from them.

My husband is a little over a month away from leaving for A-100 training, so we have lots to do – sell items we do not wish to keep, figure out what we intend to keep, and figure out where the items we intend to keep go (storage, HHE, or UAB). We have been looking up the best banks to have an account with overseas, hustling to get as much debt paid off as we can before leaving, and much more. Since I need to work until the packout date (which can be anywhere from January to June, from what I can gather), it will be very difficult for me to keep focused at work because all I want to do is start this new adventure already!! Stay tuned for the real, awkward, and funny tales of an expat living abroad.